


Avoidant Personalities

by ms_katonic



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_katonic/pseuds/ms_katonic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during CoS. Snape's been avoiding Lockhart, and Lockhart wants to know why...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avoidant Personalities

"You've been avoiding me."

Severus suppressed a groan. He'd been avoiding this confrontation for as long as he could, and knew he'd have to talk to the man eventually, but by god, he'd hoped for a few more days grace at least.

"I've not been avoiding you."

Gilderoy Lockhart folded his arms, glaring up at the Potions Master from the chair he'd invaded.

"Don't lie to me, Severus. I'm not stupid. You keep disappearing whenever I see you, and whenever I try and talk to you, a group of Slytherins mysteriously chooses that exact moment to waylay me. You, Severus Snape, are running away. And I want to know why."

Severus sighed. Wearily, he sank into his chair. They were in his office, and Severus had just crept in, relieved to have avoided his stalker, warded the door in over seventeen separate ways... only to find the man he'd been trying to escape sitting in the corner, wearing chartreuse and heliotrope robes and a thin-lipped smile.

"Alright, alright," he sighed, reaching into his 'special' desk drawer for the emergency bottle of Firewhisky. "Yes, I've been avoiding you." Although he'd never been fond of confrontations, this situation with Lockhart had been going on long enough, and quite frankly, it was wearing him down. "Did you want a drink?"

"No. Just answers." Lockhart's voice was a lot tighter than it normally was.

Severus nodded and poured himself a glass. "Then ask, Gilderoy.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I would have thought that was obvious." Severus arched one eyebrow at the hurt in Lockhart's eyes. "Oh come now, you didn't think that little fumble after the staff Christmas party actually meant something, did you?"

Lockhart pursed his lips, not replying. The silence was all the answer needed. Well, that and the effusive cards, love letters, flowers and gifts that had been arriving on Severus's doorstep every day for the past month. Most had gone straight in the bin or been used as Potions ingredients. Severus was nothing if not practical. The singing dwarf cupids had, however, been the last straw. They'd refused to leave until they'd finished, and most unfortunately, it wasn't legal to kill them.

"I was under the impression you weren't averse to my company, yes," said Lockhart, sounding surprisingly insecure for someone normally so confident. "At the time, I believe you were begging me never to stop, never to leave you."

"At the time, I believe I was several glasses of Firewhisky down and open to overtures from almost anyone.  
I suppose I should be grateful it was you really, I could have ended up with Hagrid."

"Thank god for small mercies," said Lockhart, mouth quirking in an odd little smile. "God forbid I lose you to Hagrid."

Try as he might, not all the Firewhisky in the world was going to wipe that image from Severus's mind in a hurry.

"Please," he grimaced. "Don't ever mention me in the same breath as Hagrid again." He hastily downed the rest of the glass. "At least you're attractive."

He regretted the words as soon as he'd said them. Hope had instantly flared in Lockhart's eyes, and Severus could almost see the little pink hearts flying around Lockhart's aura like a scene from one of those ridiculous Japanese comics he'd had to confiscate from some Hufflepuff sixth years once (as opposed to the Japanese comics that he'd confiscated from the sixth year Slytherins,  
which had made him long for the pink hearts and fluffy bunnies. He'd never be able to look at the Giant Squid the same way again).

"Don't even start," he warned Lockhart. "You're the most physically attractive member of the staff team. That's all. It does not mean we are destined to be together for all eternity."

"Of course not," said Lockhart, in a voice oddly devoid of its usual sparkle. "Well, I won't take up any more of your time, Severus. I'll be on my way. No, don't get up, I'll see myself out." Shoulders sagging, Lockhart made to leave, a gaudy fallen angel who'd just had his wings clipped.

Severus stared into his empty glass, wondering where this unfamiliar tightness in his chest had come from, and why he felt like he'd just kicked a puppy, or at least, how normal people felt when kicking puppies. Severus had always been more of a cat person himself - an arrogant loner who preferred not to associate with lesser beings unless he could help it. Which made these strange new feelings all the more baffling.

"Wait."

Lockhart paused, midway to the door.

"At least stay and drink with me. I feel like an alcoholic if I drink alone, and this whisky won't keep  
if I leave it open."

Lockhart turned, half-smiling.

"Alright then. I'd like that."

Severus transfigured the inkbottle into another tumbler and poured two more glasses. As he took another sip  
of the whisky, he barely noticed that the feelings of regret were already easing.

_One bottle of Firewhisky later..._

"You've got the most amazing eyes, you know," Lockhart purred. The fire had burned low and the whisky had well and truly kicked in, wrapping both men in a dreamy haze that had even Severus viewing the world through benevolent eyes for once. All in all, things had got rather cosy.

"Why, thank you, Gilderoy," Severus murmured, trying to focus. "Most people tend to avoid looking at them for too long. Apparently it makes them uncomfortable. Can't imagine why."

"That'd be the scowl," Lockhart nodded sagely. "It's terrifying to those of us not used to sinister creatures of the night."

"Am I a sinister creature of the night then?"

"Oh yes," Lockhart breathed. "Absolutely."

"I see. And how do I compare to your previous encounters with dark, demonic fiends?" Severus's voice, made husky by the fiery bite of the whisky, wrapped itself around every word like a caress. Lockhart barely stopped himself moaning. The voice wasn't the only part of Severus he wanted wrapping around him.

"Oh believe me, Severus, you're far more entertaining," Lockhart replied, breathless.

"I should hope so, considering I'm not trying to kill you."

Lockhart laughed out loud. "Oh Severus, you say the funniest things..."

* * *

_Two bottles of Firewhisky later..._

"I should really be going, you know. It's getting far too late."

"Yes. You should. We both have to teach tomorrow."

"I'll be leaving then."

"If you would."

"Alright then."

A pause.

"Er... Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Where's the door again?"

That, Severus thought woozily, was a very good question. He was almost certain it was on his right. Yes, that's right, he'd come in, warded the door securely, and turned, and Lockhart had been on the right hand side of the desk, which meant the door was on Lockhart's left. Severus was very pleased at having worked this out, so pleased that it took him a few minutes to work out what was wrong with this thought.

Then it hit him. Wards. On the door. Oh bugger.

"Er, Gilderoy."

"Severus?"

"The door. I warded it when I came in."

"Oh. Never mind. You can unward it again, can't you?"

"Unward... Gilderoy, there are about twenty different spells on that door. All of which require very painstaking dismantling, with nasty and unpleasant side effects if it's done wrongly."

"Oh. Is that going to be a problem?"

It took all Severus's self-control not to strangle the man.

"Gilderoy, at the moment I can barely even see the bloody door. I think that might just be a bit of an obstacle, don't you??"

"Well, if you put it like that, I suppose. So, er, how do I get out then? Should I use the Floo connection?"

"No. I'm not up to relighting the fire in this state, and in your current condition, you could end up anywhere if you tried to use it. No, you're going to have to spend the night here."

Lockhart tried but completely failed to hide his delight at this turn of events.

"Oh dear. Am I really?"

"Do you have any other ideas?"

"No, not really. So where do I sleep then?"

"The bed's big enough for two. But stay on your side of the bed, or it will be the worse for you."

"Of course, Severus," said Lockhart meekly. However, Severus missed the anticipatory gleam in the other wizard's eyes.

* * *

Severus's resolve lasted for the amount of time it took for them both to stagger into the bedroom, arms wrapped around each other to keep the other from falling.

"What strong arms you have," Lockhart murmured into Severus's ear. "Who would have thought it?"

"Are you saying I'm a weakling?" Severus growled.

"Heavens no. Just that you don't look like the body conscious type."

"I'm very conscious of some bodies." Somehow, their faces had come very close together, and Lockhart's eyes were now inches from Severus's own.

"Including mine?" Lockhart asked, emboldened by alcohol.

"Especially yours." Hard not to, Severus thought, when the man was right up against him, erection pressing insistently into his thigh. Something in him broke, as promises he'd made repeatedly after Christmas crumbled into dust. It had been too long without a warm body in his bed. Tilting his head, he leant down and kissed Lockhart.

Lockhart responded eagerly, lips parting below his as his arms wrapped themselves around Severus's shoulders. Fingers were soon stripping robes off, and before long, both men were happily naked, entwined on Severus's bed.

"I didn't bring any lube."

"Shame. I don't believe I have any made up either. Never mind. There are other means of entertaining ourselves, are there not? Demonstrate some of them, and I shall forgive your regrettable lapse of foresight."

Lockhart, grinning, proceeded to do just that.

"Oh god, yes, more," Severus moaned, entangling his fingers in Lockhart's hair as he thrust into Lockhart's mouth. "Don't stop. Please. Don't stop!"

Lockhart grinned as his tongue ran the length of Severus's shaft, causing the other man to shudder, a long drawn out groan escaping his lips. God, but Severus looked beautiful like this, covered in a sheen of sweat, hair falling over his face in a wanton mess, crying out fevered obscenities without a care for what anyone else thought. This was what delighted him the most, seeing the normally ultra-controlled Professor Snape give way, reducing him to a lust-filled frenzy, having Severus Snape begging... for him. It aroused him like nothing else.

"Gilderoy... oh yes, Gilderoy." Severus moaned, shifting his hips, starting to thrust into Lockhart's mouth, seizing the other man's head and pressing it to him, holding him prisoner as his cock thrust deeper in, demanding all Lockhart could give. Lockhart moaned in turn, sucking on Severus, eyes never leaving Severus's face even as his cock filled his mouth. Severus was beyond words, crying out  
incoherently as Lockhart's mouth embraced him, the warm heat surrounding him, filling places he never even knew were empty.

With one last jerk, Severus came, screaming Lockhart's name. Lockhart swallowed the fluids from Severus with the practiced grace of an expert, before sitting up, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he lay there, exhausted.

"Severus," Lockhart whispered, lying alongside him, propping himself up on one elbow. "Are you alright?"

Severus nodded, unable to speak, rolling in to lie next to him. Lockhart, lowering himself down, wrapped an arm around him, letting him nestle against his shoulder. Nothing was said. Severus was too tired and Lockhart... well. If he spoke, they'd have to talk. If they talked, feelings would be involved. If feelings entered into it... that way heartbreak lay. No reason to spoil the moment. Holding the other man in his arms, he watched as Severus fell asleep and the cares of his waking life faded away, leaving him looking innocent, a dark angel fresh from heaven, a dark creature in the light at last. Of course, the morning sun, far from driving away the beast, would bring it rushing back.

Which was why Lockhart kissed the sleeping Slytherin once on the forehead, whispered "Goodbye, Severus," and walked away. Dressing quickly, the alcohol having worn off by now, he slipped out of the room, threw Floo powder into Snape's fire place, and returned to his own quarters.

* * *

"You've been avoiding me."

Lockhart glanced up from his marking, to see Severus looming over his desk, glaring at him.

"I've not been avoiding you, Severus," Lockhart replied calmly. It wasn't true; of course it wasn't. Lockhart had gone out of his way to steer clear of the other man, ironically aided by the very Slytherins Severus had used against him. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

"Don't lie to me, Gilderoy," Severus snarled. "I woke up alone, and when I try to hunt you down and demand what you mean by it, you're never around."

"Why, Severus, I didn't realise you wanted me around," Lockhart purred. "You seemed to be of the opinion that after it was all over, you wanted me out of your sight."

"I didn't mean..." Severus stopped, biting the sentence off.

"Didn't mean what? Or is it different when you're the one being left?" Lockhart raised an eyebrow. Severus glanced away, the fight seemingly gone out of him.

"Alright, you've made your point," he said quietly. He looked up, black eyes staring straight into Lockhart's own, breathing heavily and seeming almost pained. Lockhart waited patiently to see if Severus was going to say anything more. The other man was grimacing as if in pain.

"Severus?" Lockhart asked, suppressing a grin, and suppressing hope even further. "Are you alright? You look... strained."

Severus gritted his teeth, glaring fiercely at his colleague.

"Gilderoy. The other night was... entertaining. I... may have felt some enjoyment in your company. I was wondering if perhaps... you might be interested in repeating the experience."

_Don't squeal. Don't react. Don't scare him off and ruin this._

"Well, Severus, I'm not sure," said Lockhart slowly. "I'm very busy this week, I have a lot of things to do."

"I see." Severus had not moved, but something in his eyes had gone very cold. "Well, I shall take up no more of your time, Lockhart. I am sorry I inconvenienced you." He turned to leave.

Lockhart waited until he had nearly reached the door before speaking again.

"But I might be able to fit you in at the weekend. My room, after dinner, Saturday?"

Severus froze. For a full five seconds, he said nothing, and Lockhart wondered if he'd done the right thing. Then Severus turned around, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"I believe that will do."


End file.
